I'm dying to do something different! I'd LOVE to stay home with Weston, at least part-time, but unfortunately, Grant is convinced that it's not possible. I'm confident that with a little adjustment in our spending habits that we could definitely do it! We don't have any debt except for our house payment!
Grant has TONS of reasons that we can't do it, such as, A.) It will put his/our retirement out farther or make it more difficult in retirement, because we can't save as much money, B.) We just won't be able to get by each month, C.) We can't save as much money, and we might have an emergency and D.) It will be tough to make ends meet, and we won't ever be able to build a house or buy some land, which are dreams we both have!
Anyways, I'm looking for anyone and everyone out there who has any suggestions/comments/ideas on how you do it and things that you do to squeeze your pennies and save money. I'm open to any and all suggestions! It's going to take some major sweet talking to convince Grant! :)
Also, does anyone else feel this way? Grant and I have been discussing this for awhile now, and we go back and forth on the issue, and it's really the only argument that we have! We never get really heated over it, but we both want the opposite thing, and I'm not sure how we go about coming to an agreement that's satisfactory for both of us. Thoughts?!
Hello world!
2 years ago
15 comments:
it's hard...i'm not going to lie. but i will say this, god provides. the moment they put her in my arms i knew i wanted to be a sahm and then 20 months later when i got to be a pt-sahm i knew it was all part of god's plan. on the months where it's the hardest--the months car insurance is due...we pay it twice/year--the money "magically" appears. just this past week i made $250 tax-free working for a local auction house and that will cover half of my car insurance payment in dec. :-)
we are a pay-as-you-go family and are big on not getting any debt while i pt-sahm. we both drive paid for cars and try to keep monthly payments at a minimum...you know, mortgage, utility, etc.
cooper still has his 401k that we put in the max in ea month and i have a roth that i put in some.
and it's such a blessing!
if it's in your heart you can make it work. i promise. and it will be tough sometimes, i'm not going to lie, but so worth being with your child.
and i love being a pt-sahm. i still get insurance, SOME pay check, and SOME adult interaction. it's a win-win.
We have this discussion multiple times a week! I want to be home with kinley more than anything in the world! Hopefully within the next few months it can be a reality but will also take some major adjustment!
We have made HUGE sacrifices to keep me home. We cut out fun money spending nearly 100%, we have changed our mentality from a 'what can we do for ourselves' one to a saving and what is best for our baby one. The benefits to Nolie (my daughter) of having me home are worth every penny lost. It is a sacrifice and no amount of coupon clipping or savvy saving is going to make up the entirety of the income lost. But the reality that your baby is only going to be home for about five years before they would go to school anyway means that your SAHM years would be short and not delay your retirement plans all that much.
It all comes down to priorities. And if money and land and retirement are the priority then staying home will never make much sense, because financially it (obviously) isn't the best answer. But putting Weston and You first- that would keep you home. I am so glad you guys are thinking of doing this!
This is such a hard thing. I never thought I would EVER be a SAHM, 1. b/c I didn't think I wanted to and 2. b/c I didn't think we could afford it.
However, the amount of money we would have spent on childcare, gas, dinners out (b/c I wouldn't feel like cooking), poor grocery shopping habits, work wardrobe, etc. I would be bringing home barely anything, so it wasn't worth it to us to put her in any one else's care but mine. Plus, once she was born both of us couldn't fathom that idea anyway. No matter what...we would make me being a SAHM work.
Like the others said, it is all about priorities and some how each month our bills get paid. God truly does provide.
One "argument" you may have is that while saving for retirement is important, do you want to look back in your golden years thinking this is nice, but it would have been even nicer to be home w/ Weston (and future babies)?! As you know they grow fast you only get their childhood once, and once it is gone it is gone. We don't know what the future holds, so I would focus on the now.
I hope it all works out for you. It sounds like you guys could really swing it if you switched up what is most important. Good luck. Hopefully you will get your dream of staying home!!
I have several friends who work from home full or part time. They usually hire a sitter/helper so they can get actual work work done but they are still at home. Not sure what field you are in but I know others who have been able to split a job with another mom. So 3 days one week, 2 the next.
It has been quite an adjustment & we are actually just finishing up getting our bills where they need to be. We have just had to prioritize what we need to what we don't need & have had to give up on some of the things that we just want but don't need. It is hard but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world especially now that we are pregnant again.
You could set a goal to try & do it in a few months or even a year. You could actually act like your income is already gone; just use it to pay daycare (since that will not be a bill if you become a SAHM) & then put it in savings for a while & see how it goes. It might be easier than you think.
Good Luck!!
I would love to be a stay at home mom someday, but part of that is for total selfish reasons of just wanting to stay home and not have a regular job- I like the idea of the freedom that comes with it. I realize it's a job in itself to raise a family and take care of the house though. However, I'm gonna side with Grant- honestly if you have to scrape by and not be able to afford even half the things you do now- that'll suck. Retirement and buying a house/land are HUGE things to consider. Yes, maybe being a SAHM would "only" be for X amount of years, but what if something happens and you suddenly need what you have in savings etc? I don't know... I know it would be nice to stay at home and raise your child, but look at all the kids who go to daycare etc because the mom is working- they are fine. If the expense of being at work is more than not being at work- then yes, be a SAHM. However, like I said, if you need to barely scrape by- what's that cost? And maybe it'll even work out financially. But consider his feelings- does he want to be the sole provider? How much stress does that put on him? Will it cause arguments about the family budget?
My money saving tips--
1. downsize cell phones. lowest plan possible- no smartphones with internet = huge savings.
2. cable bill- I only have basic cable (20 channels) and it hasn't driven me crazy yet without the other shows.
3. energy efficient everything. I unplug items I'm not using. Yes- even the toaster is unplugged if I'm not using it.
4. coupons. seriously. you can get a lot for free sometimes.
5. basically no extras. if I don't honestly "need" it- I don't get it.
Well I thought I might share this with you. Since having my baby girl I have stayed at home. I sold my business and moved where I don't know anyone.
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Many people I know within my team have replaced very successful full time incomes working 20 hrs a week or less.
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I bring Trevor with me to work, so I get the best of both worlds. We would not be able to make it on just Hubbys income. I dont know how we could ever do that?! I really hope you guys are able to figure something out. I know how hard that must be!
I truly believe it's a trade off. Do you want to scrape by and spend more time at home or do you want to work and be able to provide a better lifestyle with family vacations, paying for college, etc.? We are trying to figure this out right now. All I know is that I am not happy working 40 hours a week. My paycheck goes into a set aside account - daycare and Christian's 529 money come out of it automatically. We live on a strict budget out of our family checking account and it really sucks. I'd love to find a PT job but in reality, my hours are cut in half and my hourly pay likely will be too, which after daycare brings home very little. It would basically give me adult interaction and maintain my place in the working world where it would be easier for me to go back up to full time when kids are gone than start all over. I don't know if I can stay home full time, especially in the winter.
Lately I've been applying for PT jobs, but nothing has surfaced yet.
I'm a new follower BTW - thanks for asking this question!
I must say, this is something I feel pretty strongly about so I'll try to give you as much advice as I can! We have had to change our lifestyle quite a bit in order to drop to one income, but in my honest opinion it is SO worth it! Does it mean that we're living in a small house instead of the bigger, forever home that we would be able to afford had I continued working? Yes. But what truly matters to us is that I am home with my baby every day spending time that I'd never be able to get back. Bigger houses will always be there, but my baby will only be this age one time!
You'll save money by not paying for childcare (do you pay for childcare? I can't remember :) ) and you'll save money because you won't be paying for gas every week. We save a lot of money by eating at home as much as possible, which I have time to devote to now that I'm home! We usually reserve one night a week to go to a restaurant or have some take out, but we eat homecooked meals the other nights and we usually eat leftovers for lunch. I make a weekly meal plan based on store sales and coupons and I try to stock up on the more expensive things like meat when I can find it on sale. Your food budget is a great place to find some extra money because it's something that you do have control over!
And then the no brainer things like not spending money at the drop of a hat like I used to (anyone else get sucked in by online sales? :) ). We don't take spur of the moment weekend trips like we used to, but really we probably wouldn't if I still worked because it's not really as easy with a baby! And sometimes we do have to put things off. For example, my computer got a virus and it's going to cost nearly $200 to have it fixed. Right now, I'm sharing hubby's computer because it's just not something we can spend money on right now.
Anyway, I honestly think it's probably doable you just have to figure out where you have some wiggle room in your budget. You may not have as much leftover in your checking account by payday, but all that matters is that the bills are paid and your family is taken care of!
I tried sending you an email, but I am not sure I have a working email address for you:-) I had a lot of thoughts...
The question of "Can I afford..." is a loaded question. The answer is usually "Yes, but..." In truth, you can probably afford anything that you want to, but you can't afford *everything* that you want to. So, the discussion has to start with a realistic budget so that you can quantify what you would have to forego to stay home. It could turn out to be more or less than you are thinking.
And then it is just a question of priorities. One thing that I think Grant is right about, and that I totally disagree with what someone said earlier about retirement savings...you can not treat that as optional. Neither you nor Weston will benefit if you are not saving properly. Is simply paying the bills every month how you want to live?
OK...I am already writing more here than I meant to:-)
New follower here... We cut out a lot of stuff so I can stay home. If ind it challenging to not ever go shopping though :) I even cut off our home phone line recently because we never used it. Little things you cut out help. :) Daycare is expensive anyway!
My idea situation would be for one of us to stay home if we ever had kids. But, there's no way we could do that (unless we wait 30 years to have kids!)
I think if we were to make it work though, it would definitely be with part-time work. Or maybe one of you working 3rd shift so that there's always someone home with the baby...
I'd look at ways you are able to make extra income so you are able to work from home, or work part time and make extra income so it's like you're not taking that much of a pay cut. Hopefully it will work out for you! :)
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