Just a little clarification...

...in my last post, I mentioned that Grant made two comments that hurt my feelings, and yes, they did hurt my feelings, and yes, I do feel like I can't get it all done. I mentioned the comments to Grant, and he was extremely apologetic, and he didn't intend to hurt my feelings. He does understand that I can't get it all done and be superwoman, just like he can't be superman, and he doesn't get everything done either. Just because he apologized and didn't mean any harm by what he said, doesn't make me feel better. And even if he hadn't said them, I would probably at some point broken down about it. I used to be able to "do it all", and I never had any trouble getting it done. Now, it's just harder, and I'm having to face that reality.

Also, Grant does help around the house a lot and more than I could EVER ask for...I'm SO grateful for him. He bathes Weston every night and prepares him for bed, after I nurse him, he typically reads him a story, says his prayers and puts him to bed. He cooks breakfast for us every morning, he feeds Weston regularly and plays with him non-stop. He also cooks dinner for us 50% of the time, and he cleans up the kitchen after dinner every night. When it's house cleaning time, he does his share of cleaning, and I've never cleaned a bathtub or shower in this house. If Weston happens to wake up in the middle of the night, which is now rare, thankfully, Grant gets up with him. He gets up early with him, and he takes him downstairs and they play after I nurse him, so I can get a little extra sleep on the weekends. He does a great job, and I'm SO grateful for him.

He is a great husband and a great father...if I haven't had a chance to finish ironing, he does it. He hates it though, so I feel like that's one thing that I really have to do. He also does all of the work outside...he mows the grass, trims the bushes, kills the wasp and yellow jacket nests, etc. The list of outside work that he does could go on for miles. He painted the entire outside of our house last summer, and he painted the entire inside of our house the summer before. Grant is a hardworking man, and I'm SO thankful that I'm married to such an amazing guy. We are just very different, and we handle stress much differently from one another. And after the list of things above that Grant does, what do I have to be stressed out about?! :)

I can't do it all...

...and I'm finally realizing it and feeling a little down about it! I want to stay at home with Weston so badly, but unfortunately, it's not in the cards for us right now. Maybe at some point, but we just aren't ready to take that step financially yet and rely one income. I've posted my daily schedule on here before, but since it's changed slightly, I'll post it again.

5:30-5:45 AM - Wake-up & prepare for work, pack car and pack Weston's food, bottles, etc.
6:30 AM - Wake Weston up, dress and nurse him
7:00 AM - Leave for work and daycare
7:20 AM - Drop Weston off at Ms. Mary's (lady who keeps him everyday)
7:30 AM - Arrive at work
12:00 PM - Run any errands or take care of things, i.e. Post Office, etc.
4:00-4:15 PM - Leave work
4:20 PM - Pick up Weston
4:30 PM - 5:30 PM - It changes everyday...here are some of our possible activities:
- Grocery store or other necessary errands that I didn't have time to do earlier
- Swim Lessons at the YMCA on Tuesday's & Thursdays'
- Walk in the neighborhood, if it's not too hot
- Swim in the small pool in our backyard
- Play inside with toys, read books, etc.
- Weston plays alone while I cook dinner
5:30 PM - Weston eats dinner
6:00 PM- Begin Weston's bedtime routine...Bath, Lotion, PJ's, play in room, red books
6:30 PM - Nurse & Bed
6:45 PM - Grant and I eat dinner if I've already cooked or cook or find something to eat if I haven't
7:30 PM - Grant cleans up the kitchen, while I straighten the house
8:00 PM - ?? - Laundry, Iron clothes, as needed, prepare Weston's bottles and food for daycare the next day, make Grant and I lunch, pack clothes for Weston and I, if it's a swimming day and jog / exercise. I'll sometimes watch a show on TV, but rarely.
9:30 PM - Shower
10:00 - Pump
10:30 - Bed

I try to go to bed at 10:30 PM, but I sometimes don't go to bed until 11:00 PM or after. I'm exhausted, and I feel like I never get it all done. I know that I'm complaining, but it really hit me when I realized that Grant feels like I'm not getting it all done either.

I had a friend of mine come visit from Columbia, SC over the weekend, and she spent the night last night. We were sitting and talking, and she mentioned cooking dinner, and he immediately said, "See Rachel, she cooks dinner every night and probably irons too." I know he didn't mean anything by it, and he didn't think it would hurt my feelings, but it really upset me. I didn't act like it, but I just started crying as I was falling asleep later that night. I also tried the coupon clipping, and I enjoyed it, but it's time consuming. It's REALLY time consuming, not only to keep everything organized and clip coupons, but to go to the different stores. So, I stopped when I realized how much time I was losing with Weston or doing other things. After the comment about cooking and ironing, we got on the subject of coupons, and Grant said, "Rachel only did that for about a half week." Again, it hurt...I don't think he means it, but it hurts to know that he sees me right now as someone who can't or isn't getting it all done or giving up and only doing the job halfway.

I feel defeated, disappointed in myself and like a failure...I'm trying not to feel that way, but I can't get it all done, and I am just upset with myself. I used to be so organized and always get everything done, but I just can't do it now. I feel guilty, because I'm not doing all the things that I should be doing around the house as a wife or mother. I'm very sad, and I don't know if there is anything I can do about it. I want to stay at home with Weston, and I feel like if I did, I would be able to do more of those things. When Weston was napping, I could start dinner clean or do laundry...I want to do more. And for those of you that are SAHM's, I don't think that your job is easier. I know that it's SO difficult, and not at all easy. I admire all of you, as well! And I'm sure that you guys don't always get everything done at home either. :)

I've been MIA lately, because life has been so busy and as I said above, I can't get it all done. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions on how to change things around, please let me know. I'll take any advice that I can get on scheduling and planning. Now, I'm sitting on the computer, and I can only think about taking a nap. I'm exhausted. I don't want to get up and clean right now. I'm mentally and physically tired!

Find Your Wings

5 Months

Here is my little boy at 5 months...he is growing so big SO fast! I'll post his monthly update and stats tomorrow. The little guy has had a rough day. He's got teeth coming in along with a stuffy, runny nose and a cough, so we've laid low and laid together a lot. He's in bed, and I'm hoping to get there soon. Our daycare lady is on vacation for the next two weeks, so we are taking turns with Weston. Grant and I were home on Monday, I was home with him on Tuesday and Wednesday, Grant is home with him tomorrow, my sister is watching him on Friday, my mom is watching him on Monday, my dad is watching him on Tuesday and Grant's parent's are watching him Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. It's going to be a busy time for all of us, but we are excited that we get to spend a few days with him, and he gets to spend time with Gram and Gramps, Aunt Amanda and Grant's parents. :)

It's going to be hard to break him of the pacifier. He almost RARELY takes it out, but he never needs it or wants it at night. He's a mess!

Just Remember...

...to cherish your little one!

You just never know. I found Hayley's blog, and I read it in tears as she writes about the loss of her 4 month old, Gabriel in May. Her sweet baby boy died in his sleep. I often unintentionally take Weston's life for granted. I am so grateful for him, but I think that he's "out of the woods", and he's not such a fragile little baby anymore, so I don't worry nearly as much as I did when he was a small baby. But you really just never know, and they could be taken from you in an instant.

Just a reminder to all of you to cherish EVERY moment you have with your babies, even those times that may you want to scream or pull your hair out! There are so many things that you worry and stress about...schedules, naps, sleep, feeding, etc., and they are mostly so unimportant. Each moment that you have with your son or daughter is a gift and blessing. Hug them tight and give them lots of kisses today and everyday. Enjoy every single moment of life with your little one!

If you read this, please take a moment to lift up this dear family to the Lord as they grieve the loss of their precious son.

Day of Blogging Silence for Cohen

Please join in this day of blogging silence to remember Cohen and in support of his parents Megan and Brent. For more information go here: Send Love to Cohen

Beach Vacation

Well, I've been away for a week now, because we spent the past week in St. Augustine, FL on vacation and attending a three day family reunion for my dad's side of the family. It was a great weekend. Weston put his toes in the sand for the first time, and we enjoyed spending time away from the office. The family loved on Weston, and Ms. Mary at daycare said all he wanted to do was be held yesterday. Oops...I don't think he got put down all weekend. Ha-Ha!

We came back from the trip to a not so nice surprise...our upstairs air condition went out, so we are crossing our fingers that the AC company can make it out this afternoon to take a look. For now, we are sleeping downstairs on the couch and Weston is in his Pack & Play downstairs. It's a steamy 98 degrees upstairs.

Weston also turned 5 months old since I last posted, and I have some photos to upload from his 5 month photo shoot. For now, I'll leave you with some photos of our beach vacation...

Our little family before Dinner on Saturday night

Mommy & Little Man

Daddy & Weston playing in the sand

So sweet...

Playing on the deck as the sun goes down...what a nice night!

Please let me have some, Daddy...just a little!

Father & Son

Getting ready to fall asleep in my arms after a LONG beach and pool filled morning!

Lounging on the Beach

Floating in the pool...he loves it!

Happy Father's Day

What is a Dad?
A dad is someone who
wants to catch you before you fall
but instead picks you up,
brushes you off,
and lets you try again.

A dad is someone who
wants to keep you from making mistakes
but instead lets you find your own way,
even though his heart breaks in silence
when you get hurt.

A dad is someone who
holds you when you cry,
scolds you when you break the rules,
shines with pride when you succeed,
and has faith in you even when you fail...

Weston has an amazing dad who loves him and plays with him, kisses and hugs him, takes naps and teaches him. His love is unconditional, and we couldn't be more blessed to have Grant as a father and husband.

Grant never stops...he wakes in the middle of the night, if Weston decides he needs to get up, he comforts Weston when he's in tears, he calms him and he bathes him every night. He feeds him, and I know he is looking forward to teaching him and helping him grow into a wonderful, young man. Thank you for being a wonderful father and role model for our son! We love you!

Dream Custom Artwork Giveaway Winner

The winner for the Dream Custom Artwork Giveaway for any item in the store in any size is

is #52 - Jessica at The Southern Belle Baby!!

Congrats Jessica!! Please send me an e-mail at rlh.harvey@gmail.com! :) If I don't hear from you within 48 hours, we'll select another winner.

The winner was chosen via Random.org

Check back this afternoon or tomorrow morning for another Giveaway!!

Four Months

Weston,

It's been another really busy month at the Harvey household, and you've experienced so many "firsts" this month. You attended your first Rehearsal, Rehearsal Dinner and Wedding in Dallas, GA. Your daddy was in the wedding, and you were such a good boy throughout the entire ceremony. You even let Mommy & Daddy hang out until 9:30 PM even though it was way past your bedtime.

You also spent the night at Papa Jay & Grandma Harvey's house with your daddy while I was at a Bachelorette party. They said you had a lot of fun while I was away, but I sure did miss you! You met your friend Griffin this month, and you also got to go to the Cox Family Reunion at FDR State Park in Pine Mountain, GA. You are SO loved, and they passed you around the entire afternoon.

You have changed so much again this month, and I really can't believe it. You smile and you play so well independently in your Exersaucer. You like to play by yourself, and you don't always like to be held. You are a very independent little man. You LOVE swimming! You went to the pool over Memorial Day weekend with your two friends, Emma and Emma. :)

You've also learned to sit unassisted this month, and it's SO cute! You love to sit and play with a toy in front of you. Everyone keeps telling us how great you are doing, because you are already sitting up by yourself. We are hoping that the sitting will help round out your head since currently the back is pretty flat. You are also sleeping on your side or stomach at night, and you rarely sleep on your back anymore. You curl up and have one hand over your face when you are sleeping on your side, and it's so sweet.

Here are your four month statistics and milestones:

• 16 lb. 13 oz. We are still exclusively BF'ing, and we haven't yet had to supplement with formula. You are a chubby, healthy little boy!
• 25.5 inches
• Still in Size 3 Diapers
• Wearing mostly 6-9 month clothes, but you still wear some 6 month clothes and also wear 9 month clothes.
• Your coordination is improving, and you love playing with toys that makes noise still! You are now reaching and grabbing for toys!
• You are still sleeping through the night. You go to sleep between 6:30 and 7:00 PM now, and you sleep until 6:30 AM. Though the past few nights, you've woken up in the middle of the night with gas. The past two mornings when we've gotten you up, you've had a dirty diaper, so it looks like you were uncomfortable!
• You still like to go to sleep on time, but you are getting better. You've allowed mommy and daddy to continue our weekly ritual of going to Mexican for dinner on Sunday nights. It's been fun!
• You still don't like to be held when you are falling asleep or tired. You want us to leave you alone and put you down, so you can fall asleep on your own, but you have let me hold you when you've been tired a little more lately.
• You still put EVERYTHING in your mouth! You put your hands in your mouth, our hands in your mouth, your keys, burp cloth, etc. If it's nearby, you want to eat it.
• You always try to "eat" Mommy's shoulder...you are too funny, but I will be holding you, and you'll start gnawing on my shoulder, but you don't do it to anyone else, only Mommy.
• You no longer fit into your Bumbo seat...your legs are too big, and I've tried SO hard. I tried pushing you into it, and you screamed at me, because it really hurt. I don't think I'll try that again unless your legs thin out a little bit!
• Since you are sitting up, we've gotten rid of your infant bathtub. You didn't like it anyways, because you like to splash so much, so we moved you to the Duck tub, and you love it, because you sit up so well, and you can splash the water around you. It's too cute. Bath time is still your favorite time of the day!